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God at work through images and symbols [01 Nov 2010|09:48am] [ mood | contemplative ] If you are still wondering how God speaks to you, I urge you to stay open to your imagination and to your feelings. Do not expect a booming voice to ring out in your ear. Hearing God calls for us to use our imagination and to "interpret" metaphorically. I hope the two examples below can help you understand what I mean by "interpreting" metaphorically. Example 1 "Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path throughout." Example 2 "Do you know why a car's windshield is so large & the rear view mirror is so small? Because our past is not as important as our future. Look ahead and move on." As you can see from above, parts of a car is used in "interpreting" messages from God. If we see the parts as physical parts per se, we hear nothing from God. However, if images such as parts of a car come to you in prayer or during reflective moments, we should allow those images or symbols to speak to us. Only when we become aware of how God could speak to us in symbols and images are we more sensitive to God's voice in our lives. I pray that you are able to find God in all things.

Flawed but graced [23 Aug 2010|05:15pm] [ mood | grateful ] "It has often been said that the person who is healthy emotionally is also healthy spiritually, and vice versa. A person who has appropriate self-esteem does not suffer from inadequacy or arrogance. Such a person can rejoice in other people's gifts and not be threatened by them. A person with appropriate self-esteem knows himself or herself to be flawed but also graced; hence, he or she can make room for the faults of others and resist the temptation to judge, because no one is truly superior to another in the great scheme of things. Yes, indeed, such a person is not only emotionally healthy but also deeply spiritual - in the best sense of the word." (Fosarelli, 2002). Prayer I pray then that we may all be gifted with appropriate self-esteem and that we will always rejoice in the gift of the other. Amen. Reference: Fearfully Wonderfully Made: The Interconnectedness of Body-Mind-Spirit Author: Patricia Fosarelli Source: Journal of Religion and Health, Vol. 41, No. 3 (Fall, 2002), pp. 207-229.

Luke 8:1-10 The Parable of the Sower [23 Jul 2010|03:40pm] Meditating on the Parable of the Sower a few days ago I had this insight. Recently it rained quite a lot in Singapore and old trees have uprooted either because the soil is loosened by too much water or because the roots are not deep enough. With old trees I would have thought the roots are deeply entrenched. Seemingly on the surface the tree looks to be well but one never knows what is happening inside. Ditto with human beings. On the surface we seem OK. People serve in churches, prays, attends Mass, seems prayerful, etc but what happens underneath is another thing. I am called by this insight to stay rooted in Christ and I see the importance of laying down deep roots. It is fruitless to have a nice outward appearance when one can be shaken easily by outside forces.

A metaphor of our spiritual life journey [26 May 2009|09:39pm] By way of explaining our spiritual life journeys, and coming to understand the final meanings of our lives, [Victor] Frankl (1984) writes of watching a movie, and recognising that it is made up of: thousands upon thousands of individual pictures, and each of them carries a meaning, yet the meaning of the whole film cannot be seen before its last sequence is shown. However, we cannot understand the whole film without having first understood each of its components, each of the individual pictures. Isn't it the same with life? Doesn't the final meaning of life, too, reveal itself, if at all, only at its end, on the verge of death? And doesn't this final meaning, too, depend on whether or not the potential meaning of each single situation has been actualised to the best of the respective individual's knowledge and belief? (p. 168). Quote taken from "The Spiritual Dimension of Ageing" by Elizabeth MacKinlay, p. 63. The reference to Victor Frankl can be found in "Man's Search for Meaning". ____ My thoughts: how apt a metaphor! Each day of our life, each action and each event of ours, is a picture. May you find meaning in each picture of your life. Peace. /d.

Mending the tapestry of life [12 Feb 2009|08:58am] In an interview with the Straits Times supplement, Mind Your Body, 12 Feb 2009, Dr. Helen Chen, the head and senior consultant psychiatrist of Women's Mental Wellness Service at KK Women's and Children's Hospital (Singapore), was asked to give an analogy for what she does. This was her reply: Tapestry maker. I try to help my patients weave a coherent narrative of their life experiences. Then, I trim off the excess threads of emotional upheaval or to make the colours match pleasingly to soothe the inner storms. Sometimes, I use pretty ornaments like little beads of sequins - in the form of medication and special therapy - to decorate the tapestry. Personally I found her answer wonderful and metaphorically appropriate. I think this image of a tapestry maker can also be applied to the ministry of spiritual direction. A spiritual director also strives to help a retreatant to make sense of the events and calling in their lives and to zero in to where God was present, or absent. In suggesting to a retreatant the areas in his life where he can look deeper and in drawing out his felt emotions and feelings in those events, little beads of sequins go onto the tapestry. Dr Chen's reference to "excess threads" to me refer to the distractions that could have cause a retreatant to feel off-balance or confused. Hmmm.. a tapestry maker - I like the term.

We should pray all of "that" [18 Nov 2008|09:43am] "I once had a directee, a Roman Catholic sister, talk to me about sexuality. I asked her how she might pray about the particular problem, and she responded: "Oh, I couldn't possibly pray about that!" I have learned that, for wholeness and healing, we must pray about all of "that". Several years ago on retreat, my spiritual director suggested that I pray with Mary's story in Luke 1:26-56. It is a familiar story for Christians: the birth of Jesus is foretold. Mary visits Elizabeth, and Mary sings her Magnificat. One of the ways I prayed with the the text on retreat was to write myself into the story. When I heard the angel's words to Mary in my own heart, the Spirit spoke in new ways. "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you" (Luke 1:28). I felt deep in my being that I too am "favored"; I do not need to be afraid. Most importantly, like Mary, I heard that I am invited to "conceive" and bring "God" into the world. It occurred to me that this story is for all of us, men and women. Taken metaphorically, we are all invited to birth God into the world in our time and place. Building on this metaphor of pregnancy, gestation, and giving birth, it strikes me sexuality and spirituality are intimately connected." - above excerpted from an article taken from Presence (an international journal of spiritual direction), June 2008. Article is titled "How beautiful are the ... feet!" by Anne Simmonds, pages 24-27. Yes, all you people of God, do pray all of "that". God understands and He wants to hear not only about our holiness but about our warts and blemishes as well. God loves you. /d.

Blockage in prayer [10 Jun 2008|10:18am] "For centuries various spiritual traditions have identified a blocking experience of the mind as the central issue in spiritual growth. The problem of seeking to use the finely honed power of reason to control everything in one's life seems to be the primary issue faced by anyone serious about spiritual growth. The omnipotence that we grant to the power of intellect becomes our downfall. This magnificent potential of reason was never meant to be a tool with which to control absolutely everything that touches human existence. Yet we all balk at the risk involved in setting aside the very means by which we are accustomed to survive. We cherish our ability to "think out" and "solve" problems, and rightfully so. But the tendency to vest so much of our personal identity in an exercise of reason and control can deafen us to the inviting call and surrender to some greater meaning and purpose in life. One soon discovers at the threshold of spiritual awareness an interwoven web of uniquely personal fears. We are reluctant to let go of the security we create with our wits. We are afraid of losing our more or less familiar self-identity. This is a familiar scenario for any maturing human being, as well as for those engaged in the helping professions and for spiritual counselors." - extracted from "Bio-Spirituality" by Drs. Peter A. Campbell and Edwin M. McMahon, page 54 (italics for emphasis in quote above mine). In my ministry as spiritual director, I come across retreatants who have a problem encountering the Holy deep within them because they are given to controlling their own mind and thoughts. Some acknowledge that they see the control steak in themselves but so long as they are not willing to let go of this need to control, to regulate and to rule, to analyze and to problem-solve, they will not be able to experience the wonder of the Mystery. I wish for these retreatants to be like little children, full of wonder and curiosity that they would step out of their safety zone to explore. Sure, out of this curiosity and exploration, one may get burn sometimes but then won't it be better to have been burned and coped, then to fall flat in the face and not know how to stand up? In prayer therefore, let go of the need to control the process, especially the process of waiting and of experiencing nothingness. Let go of the need to analyze the why's, what's and how's; rather go with the flow of the Spirit and let the Mystery reveal itself. The "a-ha" moment of such an encounter is life-changing and freeing and the knowledge gained is wisdom-eternal. May you find God in prayer.

Advancement towards God [27 May 2008|04:49pm] "Do you know why many do not advance in the Christian life? They put their personal disciplines, such as penances and special exercises, over the love of God." ~ taken from The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence of the Resurrection (edited and paraphrased by Donald E. Demaray, ISBN: 0-8189-0770-3) This reminds me of pray-ers who have set perimeters and walls around what they pray each day. I've got directees who told me that daily they must pray the Rosary, Divine Mercy chaplet, intercede for people, read the bible and more, but they find it difficult to sit alone with God doing nothing but to simply enjoy His presence. Now I am not saying that praying the Rosary, the Divine Mercy, and interceding for others are bad. But in being so busy and feeling guilty if they haven't finished these daily "prayer chores", I wonder if they ever have time to listen to God. No wonder they don't grow or advance very much in their Christian life. Sure, verbally and on head level they say God loves them and that He is provider, He is healer, He is everything but I wish they experience God in a deeper sense. I wish they see beyond the set prayers and prescribed spiritual exercises and be more fully aware of God in all things. And just like Mary called to sit at the feet of Jesus (Luke 10:38-42), may they realise that "Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:42). Thus, sitting still to listen should not be considered a waste of time. Rather, it should be an important part of the daily "prayer chores" that one has subscribed to. Question: when we meet God in heaven, will He ask how many decades of the Rosary we have recited. Will He ask how many Divine Mercy chaplets we have chanted. Will He ask us if we understood His Word, and if we really truly did, why do we remain unenlightened (to use a Singlish phrase, blur like sotong). Or will He ask if we heeded His Word, listened to His voice and followed His Will. I imagine that day when we realised that the decades of rosary beads prayed, the number of times we flipped the bible and the different versions of bible that we read do not get a thumbs-up from God. Rather He admonishes us for missing His voice to support our child who was downtrodden, or to provide a listening ear to a neighbour who has just lost her pet cat, just because we needed to complete five decades of the rosary for the day.

Of Distractions in Prayer [12 May 2008|09:15am] James A. Connor in his book, "Silent Fire: Bringing the Spirituality of Silence to Everyday Life" told this story (page 7): A young monk goes to the abbot and complains that when he meditates in his cell, he is besieged by distractions, and when that happens, he just doesn't know what to do with himself, and that his days seem terribly long. The abbot tells him that this is to be expected, that he has spent his life like someone living in a city square with his door open as an invitation to people to come by and chat whenever they want. "Now," said the abbot, "you have closed your door, and the same people are coming by and wondering if you are all right. They are knocking on your door, sometimes pounding to get in. If you open the door to them, they will never go away, but if you wait there in silence, eventually they will tire, and leave on their own, and you will be left in peace." So go on, send the nosey Joneses away. Be silent, and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)

Dealing with Pain [07 May 2008|03:37pm] [ mood | sad ] Mind Your Body today (supplement of the Straits Times that comes out every Tuesday) highlights people whose body are covered with tattoos. One interviewee said he got his first tattoo in 2006 as a way to remember his son who died when he was one year old in 1997. The paper reported: "But he got hooked on tattoos soon after as he felt "having just one was not nice." [snip from news story] "Asked to describe the pain involved in getting a tattoo, he said: "It's excruciating, but a good kind of pain. Something happens in your life and you have the pain to remember it by." As I read this, my spiritual director persona dropped in and I wondered if this man is "glorifying" the ("good kind of", in the words of the interviewee) pain as a way of numbing the pain that is buried deep within him when he lost his son. Perhaps he is still hurting but not wanting to confront that pain, he subjects himself to another type of pain. As he said, he got his first tattoo to remember his dead son. Perhaps the pain of the first tattoo numbed the pain of his loss and, like a drug addict, he resorted to getting more tattoos to numb the pain that he has not been able to express aloud and which he has carried for several years. A drug addict needs a fresh boost of drug to keep him high. Instead of drugs, this man resorted to getting tattoos. Hmm... sad, but food for thought.

Reasons for not praying [06 May 2008|03:44pm] "Sometimes, therefore, the reasons we give ourselves for not praying are not the real reasons. Often enough the real reasons will be attitudes in ourselves that we find hard to accept. Who wants to know, for instance, that he is angry at God, dubious about his marriage, or deeply afraid of life? Yet, if personal prayer is to be frequent and tolerable, we will have to let ourselves increasingly communicate our real attitudes to God. "Transparent" is an apt description of the attitude of openness that develops as we let the Word speak to us and let our response to him represent ourselves and our attitudes more fully." - excerpt from The Practice of Spiritual Direction by William A. Barry & William J. Connolly, pages 38-39.

Doing Nothing [25 Apr 2008|02:59pm] Thomas Merton about what a retreat ought to be: "I would suggest that for those who find silence and solitude oppressive: there is a certain value in just disciplining oneself to be "empty" and to spend a certain time doing nothing. Those who can try an hour a day of this will soon find that instead of going nuts they may profit by it more than they expected. Walking in the garden is permitted in such "empty" periods, but no talking, no reading, no formal prayer, just plain nothing." Letting go of everything for a brief time each day and simply being during that time will help us to grasp an essential principle of well-being, namely, that no matter how much there is that we must do, it is not our doing but our being that enables us to identify who we are. - above excerpted from page 85 of "Silence on Fire: Prayer of Awareness" by William H. Shannon.

Continual Prayer [23 Apr 2008|10:18am] A Carmelite superior once asked Thomas Merton* about the meaning of "continual prayer". To Merton, continual prayer means "continual openness to God, attentiveness, listening, disposability, etc." He continues: In terms of Zen, it is not awareness of but simple awareness. So that if one deliberately cultivates a distinct consciousness of anything, any object, one tends to frustrate one's objectives - or God's objectives. If one just thinks of it in terms of loving God all the time in whatever way is most spontaneous and simple, then perhaps the error can be avoided. *Thomas Merton (31 January 1915 – 10 December 1968) was one of the most influential Catholic authors of the 20th century. A Trappist monk of the Abbey of Our Lady of Gethsemani, in the American state of Kentucky, Merton was an acclaimed Catholic spiritual writer, poet, author and social activist.

Self-Observation: The First Step [14 Apr 2008|05:51pm] "This is the simple practice of noticing your thoughts and emotions. You can do this anywhere, anytime, under any circumstance. Engaged in randomly throughout the day, self-observation allows you to see whether your thoughts are taking you to heaven or to hell*. And it will give you the clarity to choose one over the other. Since most negative thoughts and emotions occur in a state of relative unconsciousness, self-observation is a means of becoming conscious and aware of the influences arising from your subconscious mind." -above taken from The Intuitive Healer: Accessing your inner physician by Marcia Emery, Ph.D. (page 199). *my comment: think of this as whether your thoughts are aligned with God's Will or not. /d.

The need to create space within [05 Mar 2008|02:32pm] Joseph Campbell (see notes below*) wrote in "The Power of Myth": "You must have a room or a certain hour of the day or so, where you do not know who your friends are, you don't know what you owe anybody or what they owe you - but a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be ... At first, you may find nothing's happening ... but if you have a sacred place and use, take advantage of it, something will happen." Do take time to discover your inner world. Pax. *Joseph John Campbell (March 26, 1904 – October 30, 1987) was an American mythology professor, writer, and orator best known for his work in the fields of comparative mythology and comparative religion.

Ignatian Contemplation [21 Nov 2007|05:14pm] Ignation Contemplation is a method of prayer that engages all our five senses. It's a wonder how when one puts his imagination to work in prayer, God is there in the memories, in the experiences and in the sights and sounds. We can only use imagination in prayer insofar as we have experienced a certain situation. For example, recently I sat with one directee who is a retired nurse and out of her sharing on the Passion of Christ came her nursing experience where she remembered her experience with the wounded and with those in pain and suffering in the hospitals. She remembered wounds that are open, bloodied and rotten. She talked about complications from open wounds and she shuddered at the extreme pain of such a suffering person. She also spoke about the smells of bloodied wounds and the clinical smells of hospitals. I think as real as this directee recalled those in pain in the hospitals, she would have been one with Christ during her prayer time. On top of that, she carried the pain with her through the day and in the experience, this directee's glimpse of what Jesus went through stayed in her memory. That made her prayer all the more surreal, and moved her all the more closer to Christ.

In touch with God [07 Nov 2007|02:34pm] [ mood | impressed ] As I sit with another in spiritual direction, I often find myself enthralled by the work of the Holy Spirit as He leads my directee to make connections between his prayer experiences and his life. At the back of my mind, I'm thinking: My! God, you're so good. I've done nothing, yet my directee finds wisdom and connection as she shares her prayer experiences. I even find it hard to say "Thank you Lord" properly because my inner being stirs with unspeakable joy and appreciation. Where seemingly nothing happens during prayer for the directee, a spiritual direction session sometimes throws up the most unthinkable wisdom that I can only attribute to, and acknowledge as, the work of the Holy Spirit. Awesome God!

Meditating about death [24 Aug 2007|11:03am] "Death" by Cheng Sait Chia It if's there it's there If it isn't It isn't so there Why talk of God and all those things that chafe me I'm not a child afraid to go to bed It it's time it's time If it isn't it isn't that's that Why carry on with prayers and all those words that gut my peace I'm not a woman afraid to face her mirror Tell me it's there I have to prepare my bed Tell me it's time I have to leave +++ About Cheng Sait Chia Born of Chinese parents in Singapore in 1941, Cheng Sait Chia studied in Singapore, France, and Canada. She settled finally in Canada with her husband near Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia. She composed this poem as she was dying. She finally succumbed to cancer on 31 January 1981. +++ Reading Cheng's poem I get a sense of someone suffering in bed and surrounded by well-intentioned people who were probably praying for her. Why talk of God and all those things | that chafe me .... Why carry on with prayers and all those words | that gut my peace. This makes me think that even as we minister to the dying, we have to be conscious of their feelings. They may want quiet time rather than a litany of said prayers. Cheng seems not ready (or don't want?) to face the God-issue. Perhaps she is feeling angry with God? Perhaps she cannot fathom why God sends her cancer? If this be true, it saddens me but I pray for the repose of her soul unto God's loving and compassionate embrace. Just this week, another retired Singapore ex-politician died. Print and screen news carry excerpts of good things said by people who remember him. So, what about you? What would you like people to say about you when you're gone? Perhaps you could sit now and write a list of things you want to be remembered for. Then go through the list to see if they are congruent with your present day words and actions. Be honest. For those things that you'd like to be remembered for, but that you honestly think you're not there yet, try working on those issues whilst you are still alive this day. Don't wait until tomorrow and hope to make things right at the end. The end could come quick and you have no time to say your goodbyes, or to make peace. May you live life consciously in the here and now. Peace.

Taking God's Word for granted [24 Aug 2007|10:46am] You know how sometimes we come across a Scripture passage and we say, "I know that story". And then we shut our mind and heart to receive further messages from God because we think we already know. Often when this happens, we rattle off a theological interpretation of the Word, without letting the Word to sink in with our life's experiences. Does "I already know that story" sound familiar? Well, if that ever happens again, please reconsider. God's Word is alive, and IT ministers to us in the here and now. Therefore we have to pay attention, no matter how familiar a passage is to us. Otherwise we miss God's soft prompting. This reminds me of how when one says, "I know God loves me" and this stays at the head level. The heart feels far from the love of God. True communication with God is an experience. God's Word has to be lived in the heart, not the head. At head level, our emotions and feelings are not involved. At heart level when we let the real deep-seated emotions and feelings tell us who we really are, we can then live our experience more fully and convincingly. When we begin to take God's Word for granted, it's almost like we say God has nothing new for us. That's a wrong way of thinking because God has created and He continues to create. Just look at the new developments, mysteries, inventions and discoveries around you. We are asked to be co-creators with Him, and we have to keep afresh and abreast of the signs of the times. We have to believe that the Bible, though written a long long time ago, has personal messages for us this day and age. May you find yourself truly alive in the Word. Amen.

The Raising of Lazarus (John 11:1-44) [08 Aug 2007|11:40am] "Lazarus, come forth". (John 11:44) We pray and God has liberated us. Do you believe this? In prayer, especially earnest prayers of petitions, we are almost like Lazarus, tombed up in a dark cave. We wait for freedom from our woes. We want our petitions answered. We pace up and down in the tomb waiting to be released. It is at this moment that we should pray to God to roll away the stone that blocks our entry to God's light, His saving Grace. So if you have prayed and you want to claim Jesus's promise, "Ask and you shall receive" (Matt 7:7), then in your prayer imagine too the stone that stands between you and God's light and Grace. Take time to reflect on what that stone is (what or where's the block?), instead of wallowing on "in His time". The question is: you have prayed, BUT, are you ready to receive the gift God has for you. Perhaps sometimes you think you want something, but deep down, you are not sure. Perhaps you are afraid of the outcome. As an example, you are dissatisfied with your current job. So you pray for a "good" job to come. Windows seem to open. You get interviewed. However, you're not getting an offer. What's happening? So you think, perhaps God does not think I should change job yet. You continue to fret and worry. You continue to get dissatisfied in your current job. You continue to ask God for help and guidance. You almost disbelieve, "Ask and you shall receive". In the above situation, instead of fretting and constantly "bugging" God, how about looking at your deep desires. The real desires of your heart. Is there a blockage? Perhaps even as you pray, you're thinking: I've been at this job for so long. I'm good at what I'm doing. My boss is not complaining about my work. I get along with my colleagues. BUT I look around and my other friends seem to be getting better deals than I. Their jobs require them to travel. That's perk. Me? I'm stuck here. My salary is acceptable but I wish for something more. As you pray, the fear of starting all over again at a new company, having to meet and interact with new colleagues, and wait, the thought of travelling on business is not as enticing to you because you'd hate to leave your family for even a few days on their own ... STOP! You've placed a stone in front of you even as you pace in the dark tomb. You are alive in the tomb. God sees and hears you as a living person. God shouts, "Come out, [your name]!" But the stone in front of you remains in front of the tomb you're in. To get out of such a situation, take time to reflect and pray with the image of a stone. Look at the size and weight of the stone. If God wants to help you move the stone, will you allow HIM to? Are you really ready to see whatever He has prepared for you outside the tomb? Consider: your doubts and your fears could be the stumbling blocks (the stone) that prevent you from receiving God's graces. Peace.

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